Friday, July 3, 2009

Overthinking about horses and relationships...

You all may laugh at this post. It is humorous, I will say that. But it's just something I've overthought, that's all!

Well, now that Greta is out of super heat, she is going back and forth between her beau Sneaky and her BF Phoebe. Phoebe's not so jealous anymore. She's also a lot easier for me to handle. So much drama.

But it got me to thinking the past few days though, on how horses handle relationships. People could learn a few things as well, both on what and what not to do when pursuing a relationship. I'm mostly referring to romantics, but you might be able to abstractly apply it to just a regular social relationship. If you warp it the right way. So, onto "pursuing romantic relationships" in accordance to BreUndGreta.

The most prominent thing I've learned is that it doesn't really come naturally. It's something you learn, and master, and develop your own style of. You learn how to ask for what you want, and how to get along with different types of people. Your style should be a good reflection of how you really are: i.e. don't act flaunty when you really want a guy who likes you for you, otherwise you might attract guys (or girls... or whoever you date) who are interested in other aspects of you. I like to establish with my boyfriends that we're just really good friends more than anything now, and we're not a mushy-lovey-dovey couple. I'm way too independent for that kind of stuff. I don't want them to hang all over me, and I don't want to hold hands all of the time. Perhaps I want too much time away from them (another thing: recognize your faults!)

Greta, though she is new to the barn, she seems to know what she is doing (though I'm sure if she got a stud, she wouldn't know what the heck to do with him). She has her own style: she's very picky. She flirts with, but doesn't get atached to, the boys that are "all up in her business" and likes the more sensible ones that let her do her own thing. Sneaky is like that, he follows her and eats with her and everything, but he can give her some space. He also likes his own space, too. He is the only boy that Greta actually gets a bit frantic about when he's put in the barn to eat! It's pathetically adorable.

Another thing: space! I've noticed, though I'm sure this may be a horrible generalization, that the couples who obsess over each other tend not to last very long. They get sick and tired of obsessing after a while! It's a lot of work.

And then some things not to do:

Like I said, don't obsess. I hate it when guys call me constantly, and from I've heard from friends and family, I'm not the only one. Greta hates it when the boys are constantly tagging behind, sniffing at her butt and trying to nuzzle. Let everyone have some privacy, please!

Try and share the bond. I have a horrible habit of trying to be the one in control, and it really can get annoying. It's good to have a guy who can remind you that he would like some control too. This kinda falls under the obsession, except this would be more one-sided. Just be sure to actually listen and change when you're reminded!


So, just actually like being around each other. Occasional reminders are always appreciated, and are very special when they're occasional, not every minute: don't be the boy who cried 'wolf!' (or perhaps the boy who cried 'I love you!'). You'll have to make time for each other. Don't expect things to happen instantly. And don't expect to be knowing what you're doing instantly. I don't know what I'm doing half the time (so why am I writing this, then?)

Learn from the horseys: take your time, don't be hasty and don't obsess (Claudia was notorious about that, she'd rush into a relationship and obsess, and after a few weeks things ended up in a dust of kicking and pinned ears). You'll get the hang of it. Develop a style and be honest about your expectations, just to narrow out your choices on who you can get a long with.

And most importantly, don't totally rely on a blog posting from a sixteen-year-old about relationships and horses. Just consider my overthinking, that's all.

And check out this blog I've found. Really good stuff. Well, at least it's what I'm interested in!
"Behind the Bit" by Stacey Kimmel

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