These are the things that some, well, many, may laugh at and we whine to them "But you just don't understand!". The things that a horse might not necessarily need, but we just know they do, and sometimes they are perfectly fine with it: things like the best apples and carrots in the produce section, especially when you give them all in one visit to the stable for no particular reason other than, "You're such a good pony-wony-pudgy-poo!"
Things like the super cute, pink plaid blanket/saddle pad/fly mask/whatever that you think your horse will look absolutely adorable in, especially if he's a gelding. ("Only toughie-woughie boys wear pink right, schnookems?") Besides, you know your horse will feel super confident and absolutely fabulous sporting that I-could-flag-down-an-emergency-plane yellow fly bonnet that looks fantastic against their dark bay coat. Who cares if there has been studies proving that horses are colorblind to most colors save blue and purple, or that Cutie Wootie Baymeister rips whatever fanciful-colored object you put on him the minute you turn your back and walk away from him in the pasture! You just tell yourself that he felt so fabulous and that the other horses were so jealous that he couldn't bear the pressure of being the most fabulous horse in the pasture, thus tearing off the My Little Pony fly mask and neatly leaving it for you to find on the fencepost as you drive in the next day.
Or perhaps more abstract things like giving up your favorite color to that which looks best on your horse. I love blue. Blue is my favorite color. I cannot get enough of anything blue. But put it on Greta, and it just looks far too masculine. This is a frivolous thing I've done for my horse: my new favorite color (besides blue) is pink and purple, because it's a guarantee that any new top will be worn out to the barn, so it has to match Greta's colors or at least look good with it. Colors like yellow or black look nice. But pink and blue don't look go together. Bummer. Poor me.
Oh, the things we do for our horses:
"This Gucci tote would be perfect for carrying brushes and the hoof pick! Pony just loves designer labels! Oh, and there's a matching clutch! Perfect for carrying treats!"
"What do you MEAN they don't have the saddle pad, bell boots, fly bonnet, leg wraps, and rubber reins in the same color as my protective vest, helmet cover, and shirt? That stuff is in robin's egg blue and you say you only have turquoise. What is wrong with you people? Don't you know that my horse looks dreadful in turquoise? It must be robin's egg blue! Surely you can special order it or something. Don't you know how important my horse's looks are to him?"
"Sorry, I can't go shopping with you today. I have some horsey stuff to do. No, it's not a big competition or anything. I haven't ridden her in one whole day! She must be bored out of her mind in the pasture with nothing but a giant hay bale to much on and grazing with the other horses! I just know she misses me so much!"
"What do you mean, "what are all of these pictures all over her stall"? They're pin-ups, duh! She likes looking at those sexy studs. No, she's not totally focused on the hay in her manger, she's just taking a break from admiring her future husbands. It's not like you don't have any pin-ups of Taylor Lautner or Brad Pitt!"
"Oh, hold on, doctor! I don't think he likes that green vet wrap you're putting on him. I have some in burgundy with yellow stars. They're his favorite. No, it couldn't possibly be the stinging wound ointment you're putting on him. He's such a gentleman, he would never get upset over that. Geez, that just doesn't seem to do it. Oh, I know what it is! He needs his Mister Cuddlekins teddy bear! Don't laugh! Didn't you have a favorite toy growing up?"
"She only takes Sweet Gala Apples.... no, she just ate that granny smith you gave her because she was trying to be polite. Such a lady, don't you think?"
And there are so many more things we do for our horses. Frivolous things. But goodness knows we only have the horse's best interests in mind. No matter how frivolous, or silly in some cases, it may seem, we do it out of love for our horses. I do believe our horses can sense this, and I do believe they are capable of loving us back just as much as we love them.
Also, everyone, keep Miss Gogo in your thoughts! I do hope she gets better soon!
"What do you MEAN they don't have the saddle pad, bell boots, fly bonnet, leg wraps, and rubber reins in the same color as my protective vest, helmet cover, and shirt? That stuff is in robin's egg blue and you say you only have turquoise. What is wrong with you people? Don't you know that my horse looks dreadful in turquoise? It must be robin's egg blue! Surely you can special order it or something. Don't you know how important my horse's looks are to him?"
ReplyDeleteYou were SO thinking of me when you wrote that!!
Keep her in your thoughts. Dunno what the heck is going on and still don't have the heart to blog about it.
Possibly.... though I hope you wouldn't gripe at Dover or another tack store like that. It is very tempting sometimes....
ReplyDeleteBut I do hope Miss Gogo gets better so she can go back to sporting some robin's egg blue! She is so lucky to have such a wonderful and caring owner. Best of luck to y'all.